Children Helping Children with Grief:
My Path to Founding The Dougy Center for Grieving Children & Their Families
Beverly J. Chappell
Foreword by Earl A. Grollman
Paperback Original ISBN 978-0939165-54-4
224 pages, $18
Color Photos & Illustrations Throughout
For far too long people did not die. Instead, they were “lost to us,” “went on a long trip,” “went to sleep,” “passed on,” “passed over” or “passed away.” Unfortunately, that is often still the case today. These euphemisms were, and continue to be, the walls that cut us off from death and dying, and the subsequent grief for those facing the death of a loved one.”
So begins Beverly Chappell’s book in which she describes the people and life experiences that led her to co-found The Dougy Center, believed to be the first dedicated to the needs of grieving children and their families. As a young nurse married to a pediatrician, Bev saw how devastating unrecognized grief can be for children facing the death of a family member or friend. She also witnessed a medical community that largely denied that children even grieved or that they might need support!
With encouragement from her husband, Allan Chappell, M.D., and her friend and mentor, Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, M.D., Bev held the first grief support group for children in her family’s home. Four children attended that first gathering in 1982. In the early years, a growing number of children, their parents, and volunteer facilitators became part of The Dougy Center. Through her personal story, Bev recounts many stories of children coping with loss and grief, and how adult facilitators learned to be present for grieving children. This book brings to life the early days of The Dougy Center and some of the “angels” who stepped forward to embolden Bev’s initial vision and expand it to create an internationally recognized center for grieving children and their families.
Since that simple beginning more than thirty-five years ago, The Dougy Center has grown to serve more than 20,000 children, teens, young adults, and families. Today, the Center offers support to more than 350 children and their 200 adult family members each month. Through the efforts of many other who shared Bev’s dream and carried it forward, today there are about 165 centers worldwide patterned after The Dougy Center. Visit: www.dougy.org
Praise
On behalf of my mother, Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, MD, and the Elisabeth Kubler-Ross Foundation, we wholeheartedly applaud Bev Chappell’s work and her book. Bev was a good friend to my mother and did a remarkable job continuing her work in the form of The Dougy Center. Helping children was my mother's favorite sub-specialty of death and dying. Bev’s book on the founding of The Dougy Center will continue to help those children and families in need.
The knowledge shared through Bev Chappel's experience is an inspiration to anyone who has a dream and yearns to make a difference. Her struggles and joys, and especially the wisdom she gained from grieving children and families themselves, illustrate how to find hope and even growth in the wake of sorrow.
Bev Chappell weaves stories of sadness, courage, caring and guidance as she beautifully recalls The Dougy Center's history. This book is a great primer for anyone working with children and death.
About The Author
Beverly Chappell co-founded The Dougy Center for Grieving Children and Their Families in 1982. At a time when children’s grief was largely disregarded or unrecognized by many in the helping professions, Bev drew tremendous support from her mentor and friend, Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, M.D. The Center, located in Portland, Oregon, became the first of its kind worldwide.
Bev worked full time at the The Dougy Center for about ten years, serving as its first executive director for nearly six years. She also facilitated various children’s support groups, and to this day continues to support the Center’s efforts. She has taught many classes and workshops on death and grief, and has been recognized for her pioneering work in children’s grief. In 2003, she received the “Distinguished Alumni Award” from Marylhurst Alumni Association for her “outstanding service to society.” The Dougy Center has also honored Bev for her contributions.
Bev Chappell graduated from Iowa Methodist Hospital School of Nursing in 1951, and received her Bachelor of Arts from Marylhurst University in 1979. She was married to pediatrician Allan Chappell, M.D., for forty-one years. She lives in the Portland, Oregon area, near her children and grandchildren.
